"However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act upon them?…Give up the old ways – passion, enmity, folly. Know the truth and find peace. Share the way." – Dhammapada: Sayings of the Buddha

Buddha said, "Share the way." What does it mean to "share the way?" In the context that Buddha spoke the words, it is usually understood to mean "share the Path" or "share the Light." However, we can interpret this statement more broadly and find that this recommendation is quite relevant for us all.

What "Share the way" does not mean is to become some kind of zealous missionary for a personal cause. I ran into an old acquaintance of mine some time ago, who looked happy and smiled at me as we approached each other on the street. It was clear she was fairly bursting to tell me about something and I encouraged her by asking how she was doing. I commented on how happy she looked. "Well," she said, "I joined this group." She proceeded to tell me about a motivational seminar series she was participating in and how it changed her life. "That's excellent news," I said, sincerely. "Congratulations." Then she began to explain to me how she knew now that anyone who was not involved in this motivational experience was not living the life they could or should be. She expressed to me that essentially, everyone on earth should eventually follow the specific life methodology she had discovered, or they were simply not ever going to find success or happiness.

It was a shame that her enthusiasm shined under the cloud of this belief. Obviously, her idea of "sharing the way," was to tell everyone that the path she had chosen to follow in her life was the only path anyone should pursue if they were halfway intelligent. It is what we call egotism. This motivational methodology appeared to work wonderfully for this woman, but that does not mean it is necessarily the appropriate approach for any other individual. Thinking that what works for you is what must work for others reflects, quite simply, a lack of empathy. It is the absence of appreciation for another person's unique circumstances, their particular needs and desires. It is the inability to see life from another person's perspective. With this attitude everyone else's suffering becomes merely a reflection of one's own, seen through a mirror, rather than a lens.

This is truly the opposite of what Buddha was suggesting by his teaching to "share the way." In fact, the teaching is an instruction to share your heart – not your particular life choices. He was encouraging his disciples to share what they had each gained from the way, but not necessarily the steps they took to achieve their goals, which might be specific to their own individual needs.

There's an old proverb that says, "There are many paths up the mountain. And they all have the same view of the noonday sun."

It is monumentally important not to assume that the specific path your feet followed to a successful goal will be in another individual's best interests. It is also important not to be so egotistical as to believe that the methodology you discovered is the only way to achieve a particular goal.

No, what Buddha's teaching suggests is that we should share not our particular efforts, but the fruits of our efforts.

For example, if you are feeling especially happy and fulfilled one day as you are paying for your groceries, why not compliment the cashier. Look her in the eye, smile at her and say, "thank you" as genuinely as you possibly can, as she hands you your change. How many people do you think have shared such kindness with her throughout her day? Answer: probably not enough.

Sharing joy doesn't even need words. To succeed at this exercise we don't need to convince anyone of anything. We can just be one less selfish, greedy, moody person in a particular place, at a particular time.

If you have discovered a class or a teacher, or even a restaurant or a movie or a book that really rocked your world, it is fine to recommend it to another. But more importantly, if an experience made you happier or wiser or stronger, then what you should endeavor to do is to share your happiness, your wisdom, your strength with others. You can do this just by putting your hand on a friend's shoulder at the right time. Or stopping when you happen to be in a rush, to help a frustrated associate pick up a stack of papers that went flying after he tripped on his way down the hall.

Now, if you decide to teach a methodology to others that worked for you, that's fine. You just need to be very clear that you are offering one methodology (out of a potentially infinite number of other kinds) that you know to be successful at producing a particular set of results.

This is the essence of humility, another of Buddha's – and many other great prophets' – classic teachings. You see, if we believe an experience we have had is somehow better than or superior to experiences others have had, then by associating ourselves with the source of this experience, we can begin to believe that we are better than or superior to others as individuals. This sets up an inherent "us and them" duality that is the antithesis of any pursuit of spiritual attainment or personal growth.

Most people who are interested in evolution and self-discovery are seeking some realization of what is inherently one and unified within all individuals and of Life itself. There is no such thing in a true seeker's mind as "my way" and "their way," with one superior and one inferior. There is only the Way, the one Way, Life: something all of us above ground experience. The foundation of life is truth and light and clarity and joy. These are the eternal elements. And it is these eternal qualities that we have been encouraged by our great prophets to share - freely, enthusiastically and fully. How? By adding our truth, light, clarity and joy to the group experience, by offering the best of ourselves and the fruit of our best efforts to whomever crosses our path – quietly, simply, sincerely, and with great humility.

Nicole Grace
August 2007

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." -- H. Jackson Browne